“Other countries have social safety nets. The US has women.”

Oof. What a gut punch those words are, from sociologist Jessica Calarco, in an article by the same name last week.

Other countries have affordable child care. Other countries have universal preschool. Other countries have paid sick leave. Other countries have greater access to health care. Other countries — in fact, almost all other countries — have paid family leave.

The US has women.

In the US, when whatever carefully constructed family arrangements we’ve each made fall apart — say, when a parent or child gets sick, or when there’s a global pandemic — it’s not a social safety net that kicks in. It’s women, and their careers, that bear the brunt.

Because we have internalized “her” as the caregiver. And “him” as the breadwinner.

Because we still value her work less.

Because that means she earns less.

Because work inside the home is valued less than work outside the home.

Because we’ve convinced ourselves that paid family leave is an expense, not an investment — and ignore that it’s an investment that very quickly pays for itself through greater economic (and household income) growth.

Because as women we’ve been taught that we’re not good with money, that we’re not good investors, that that’s the responsibility of the men in our lives.

Because rugged individualism is a story that we Americans tell ourselves ... even while the cowboy on the open range and the (white) settlers of the West were given — for free — the land that they were ruggedly individualizing on (land that was wasn’t even theirs to be given).

So how do we change all these untrue beliefs and make a crisis plan that isn’t just “women exist?” I’ve got some thoughts.