How To Be An Optimist Without Being Annoying - Thanksgiving Edition | Non-Obvious Insights #245

Dear Newsletterest,

It's Thanksgiving here in the US and this week is all about gratitude. We all deserve to have something to feel grateful for -- something that has always been easier for optimistic people.

Most of us believe being optimistic is a good thing, but when faced with someone who is relentlessly optimistic, it can be ... well, annoying. Especially right now.

So whether you are the optimist or you're about to be faced with dealing with them - here are a few ideas that might help.

1. Avoid being a naive optimist.

According to philosopher D.Q. McInerny, a naïve optimist "is someone who makes emphatically positive estimates without sufficient evidence.” In other words, if you are going to be optimistic make sure it is based on knowledge instead of fantasy or laziness. Otherwise, you risk only "spouting inane platitudes that are designed to preserve the niche of bliss [you have] carefully carved out for [yourself]."

2. Be genuine.

As one Quora user wrote, "optimistic/positive people annoy me because I feel they are being disingenuous, and are not really positive and just pretending to be." For many of us, this is why overly optimistic people annoy us too. So how do you avoid this? Part of it comes down to your personality and being honest with yourself. Are you being genuine and sharing what you truly believe or are you putting on a show and trying to be what others expect you to be? No matter how good an actor you think you are, you'd be surprised at how easy it is for the people close to you to tell the difference.

3. Don't make optimism a debate.

Your optimism (or lack of) is not an argument to be won by someone. Too many times, the people who are optimistic see it as their mission to help "convert" everyone else to feeling what they feel. Skip the debate and don't make it your mission to share the optimism. I once heard a comedian describe opposing gay marriage as being the same as getting angry at someone for eating a donut because you are on a diet. You are not in charge of anyone else's attitude, or their diet. Focus on yourself and not on everyone else.

4. Read the room.

There are going to be moments in any gathering, whether it is live or virtual, where people feel sad. Many people this year have lost a family member or friend. There are times where moments of silence are necessary and we all need time to reflect. Sometimes optimists struggle to let these moments linger. They try too hard to "pick everyone up" too quickly and end up cheating the group of that time of reflection that everyone needs. If you are an optimist, remind yourself that everyone else may need more time than you to recover their attitude. Give them that time.

How to Prepare Your Business For What Comes Next in 2021

What is the secret to helping your business survive right now and get ready for the future? In this month's issue of Inc Magazine, I share a perspective on how business owners can ask the right questions and shift their mindset to succeed. Here's quote from the article and a link to read the full piece online below:

"Wishing that everything goes back to the way it was is not a strategy. If hearing that makes us panic, that's where we need to start. We have to learn to not be afraid."

Read the full article on Inc.com >>

Other Stories To Read This Week ...

For this week since it's Thanksgiving, I'll be skipping my usual commentary (and we're taking a break from the weekly YouTube show too). But since I haven't shifted my habit of collecting stories for you, I thought I'd include a roundup the articles I would have chosen from for my usual list ...

Grateful For Newspapers

Solomon Islands Bans Facebook for "National Unity"

How Do We Put Words to The Experience of Gender?

A Chinese Plant Has Evolved To Hide From Humans

Penguin Random House to Buy Simon & Schuster

The US Army Is Developing Tech That Reads Minds

Here's What Air Pollution Taste Like, According To Artists

OED Says 2020 Has Too Many Potential Words of the Year

The Spiking Cost of Nigeria's Favorite Dish Captures An Ongoing Food Crisis

How are these stories curated?

Every week I spend hours going through hundreds of stories in order to curate this email. Want to discuss how I could bring this thinking to your next event as a virtual speaker? Visit my speaking page >>

Be Part Of Our Community ...

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The Best Non-Fiction Books of 2020, a Creepy Holiday Gift and How VCs Are Destroying Capitalism | Non-Obvious Insights #246

Friday, December 4, 2020

The most interesting and non-obvious stories of the week. Dear Newsletterest, Welcome to December! This is the month when we complete one of our biggest annual traditions over here at the Non-Obvious

How To Be An Optimist Without Being Annoying - Thanksgiving Edition | Non-Obvious Insights #245

How to Prepare Your Business For What Comes Next in 2021

Other Stories To Read This Week ...

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The Best Non-Fiction Books of 2020, a Creepy Holiday Gift and How VCs Are Destroying Capitalism | Non-Obvious Insights #246

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