Resentment hurts you more than it hurts them

Hey Reader,

Last week I got braces.

A few people I mentioned it to said, “why? Your teeth seem really straight.” And they’re right (mostly).

I had braces when I was a teenager (the full palette expanding, jaw moving, full of metal bars kind) that set my teeth straight. It was painful and time intensive, but totally worth it.

Then after a couple years my retainer broke. I took it in and the orthodontist said it was fine. But it wasn’t. It was broken enough that it would cut the inside of my lip and gums. He insisted it was fine.

I went home angry. I tried the broken retainer again and it just hurt too much.

I put it in a drawer and never wore it again.

The smart move then would be to find a new orthodontist and get a new retainer made. But I was so mad I didn’t do it (also, I was 19 and didn’t have money to spare).

Over the years my teeth moved and I’d gradually notice the results of braces fading away. I just felt more resentment towards the orthodontist.

Then one day I realized: I was only hurting myself.

I’m 31. I already did all the hard work to get straight teeth. It’s dumb to let some crappy medical care from a decade ago continue to affect me.

So last week I got braces. Or rather, Invisalign. It will take four or five months, then my teeth will be back to how they were a decade ago. And I’ll have a new retainer to hold them in place.

The whole thing made me think: what else am I holding on to out of anger, resentment, or fear? I felt like I was somehow getting back at my orthodontist, but he didn’t care. I just hurt myself.

Is there anything you're holding onto that's only hurting you?

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FROM ART OF NEWSLETTERS

Cherie Hu - The math behind Water & Music, and a successful newsletter

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I loved this episode and I think you will too!

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Thanks for joining me this week,

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