Sticky Notes - You're out.

Coach Teddy had a list of one-liners that stretched for miles and a speech impediment that made him talk like Elmer Fudd –– making his constant reciting of these one-liners quite comical.

(Side note: some historians believe that Alexander The Great also had a lisp and that his lisp worked to his advantage, making much of what he said more memorable...)

On one particular game, one of his players was bitching up a storm after the umpire had called him out whilst sliding into home plate.

The player did a great deal of bitching and Coach Teddy had finally had enough. So, he decided to use the "out" as a teaching moment.

As the player slowly made his way to the dugout, screaming at the umpire in between each step, Coach Teddy came scrambling off the bench, in frantic hysteria, high-tailing it to home plate, shouting at the player...

"Get back on the bag! Get back on the bag!"

The player speedily rushed over to home plate, very clearly confused but obeying his coach's instructions.

"Coach? What? The umpire called me out?"

Coach Teddy, playing dumb, kept shouting at him...

"No! He changed his call! He changed his call!"

The player's confusion turned into frustration and he shouted back at Coach Teddy...

"Coach? The umpire can't change his call!"

Coach Teddy instantly became calm and, placing his hand on the player's shoulder, said to him...

"That's right, son. He never will change his call. He never will. So you're better off shutting up and just playing baseball."

The player trudged back to the dugout with his tail between his legs, discouraged but understanding his coach's point. 

During another game, another player on the team kept striking out by not swinging at the ball.  

For those not privy to the game of baseball, one can strike out by 1). swinging and missing the baseball or 2). the pitcher throwing the baseball within the strike zone and the batter not swinging. 

After multiple times of not swinging at the ball and, in turn, striking out, Coach Teddy walked up to this player in the dugout and said...

"Son, I don't know if this math still works today. But, back when I played baseball, you had a much better chance of hitting the ball when you swung at it."

I've never met Coach Teddy –– I've only heard stories about him from my father who had a buddy that played for him –– but I think about him a lot, particularly in the moments when I find myself either complaining about the shit I can't control or not swinging and wondering why I keep striking out. 

You have to be extraordinarily careful making overarching statements about success because success isn’t unlike a pair of baseball cleats: one size very rarely fits all.

However, two characteristics I’ve seen in successful people are that 1). they move on quickly when shit doesn't go their way and 2). they’d rather strike out swinging than strike out watching opportunities fly by.

By Cole Schafer.

P.S. If someone forwarded you this newsletter and you aren't easily offended by the word "fuck", click the black button down below and subscribe. 

If I ever write something that leaves you wondering how a twenty-eight-year-old stranger in Tennessee got you to waste ten minutes of your day reading an email, here's how you can thank me... 

1. You can buy me a drink.
2. You can shout me on Twitter, Linkedin or Instagram.
3. You can tell someone to subscribe to Sticky Notes.
4. You can hire me to teach you how to freelance. 
5. You can hire me to teach you how to cold email.
6. You can hire me to teach you how to write copy.
7. You can subscribe to my paid newsletter. 
8. You can pick up my poetry books, After Her and OMP?
9. You can buy this badass brass coin.

On second thought... 

As you may or may not know, I recently released a brass coin as a reminder to both myself and others to always face the thing that scares us most. The launch was involved and by the time I got to the purchase confirmation email, I was a bit brain dead. So, I just started typing something ridiculous and this is what came out...

"

As an independent writer and creative, it's purchases like the one you just made, that allow me to continue to do what I do. 

So, firstly, I want to say thank you. 

Secondly, I want to remind you to be on the lookout for a small elf (about yay high) who will be delivering your coin to you sometime within the coming weeks.

I know what you're thinking: Schafer, how the hell did you manage to employ an elf?

Well, believe it or not, I found him whilst foraging for Morels in the woodlands of Southern Indiana. 

I had just happened upon a particularly dense patch of mushrooms and was kneeling down to pick them and stow them away in my grab-bag.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain on the back of my wrist and looked up to see a tiny, itty-bitty man with pointed ears staring angrily at me. 

Apparently, I was thieving from his Morel Stash.

I don't want to get too overly long-winded here but, long story short, I went to pluck the same mushroom again in defiance, and was met with another slap across the wrist.

This, as you can imagine, pissed me off a great deal. So, I slapped him back, which ultimately led to the two of us getting into a knock-down-drag-out fight. 

While that sonofabitch beat the living shit out of me, I did end up winning the fight. And, when you win in a fight against an elf, the elf then has to work for you for an entire calendar year until the anniversary of your victory. 

So, that's why I have an elven delivery man.

Anyway, please don't give him any alcohol, caffeine or speed... even if he offers to give you his entire bag of coins. 

Jesus Chris...

I've got to get a day job. 

"

Anyway, if you decide you would like one of these badass brass coins for yourself, you can purchase one at the black rectangular button down below. Shipping is free. The elf works for me for free. 

Earlier this week, I was having coffee with my buddy Kevin Rogers who asked me if I had seen the news. I hadn’t and so he filled me in.

At the Oscars, Will Smith walked up on stage and slapped Chris Rock for making a joke about his wife’s buzz cut…

“Jada, I love ya… G.I. Jane II… I can’t wait to see it!”

After slapping him across the face, Will Smith sat back down in his chair, clearly outraged, and repeatedly shouted…

“Keep my wife’s name out of your f****** mouth.”

“Keep my wife’s name out of your f****** mouth.”

Chris Rock, while obviously shaken up, handled the situation with a tremendous amount of grace, standing tall after having been slapped and then smiling and laughing the whole thing off.

Upon first seeing the footage myself, I found myself on the side of Chris Rock.

Will Smith assaulting a comedian on stage because he was offended by a joke sets a dangerous precedent for performers everywhere.

Previously, there has been a respected boundary between the performer and the audience.

But, when arguably the biggest entertainer alive breaks this boundary, all gloves are off.

However, after digging into the reason behind Jada Smith’s buzzcut, I learned that she battles Alopecia, an autoimmune condition that attacks her hair follicles, causing her hair to fall out.

Upon learning this fact, I understood just how much this joke must have hurt Jada Smith and, in turn, Will Smith.

So, while the violence was unacceptable, I can understand how and why it made Will Smith so angry.

My mother always told me that there are three sides to every story:
 

1. Your side of the story

2. Their side of the story

3. The story in-between

When we can, we should seek to find this story in-between, because I think it’s here where the truth exists.

And, perhaps the truth is that the Oscars isn’t the time nor place to poke fun at a woman’s hair… nor slap a man across the face.

P.s. Once again, if something I ever write resonates with you, please share it via the icons down below and encourage others to subscribe here.