I’m back!

I know, I know, it’s about damn time. For those who have been waiting, thank you so much for your patience. The last six months have been very full on and I just wasn’t able to devote any head space or time to my precious newsletter. To all the new subscribers, welcome! I’m so happy you are here.

As it has been a while, I wanted to firstly do a little introduction or reintroduction depending on how long you have been signed up. The next two newsletters will be a nice juicy personal essay and a lovely guest piece. I have also added below a bit about what you can expect going forward. Under this are some thoughts and recommendations and other bits and bobs.

For those who don’t know, I launched this newsletter on my 35th birthday in October 2019. I was really fed up with the content out there for single women at the time which did not reflect my life and made me feel quite depressed and isolated and I thought I may as well take matters into my own hands and launch something to fill the void. I didn’t know what to expect and it’s been an amazing journey since I first hit send.

The Single Supplement is regularly featured in national and international news publications and has even won an award. I’ve also been on the national radio three times now. Most recently I was on the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2 (you can listen here at 33 minutes in) and on Woman’s Hour on BBC Radio 4 (you can listen in here from 21 minutes in). Both times I was talking about the cost of being single.

There are almost 11,000 readers and more than 2,300 members over on Facebook. More and more people sign up everyday which is incredible to me. I am so grateful to each everyone one of you. This newsletter wouldn’t be what it is without you. Thanks for being here. I wish we could all have a group hug like this:

A note on who the newsletter is for

Although originally solely for single women, I noticed men signing up and decided to welcome all genders here and to the accompanying Facebook group. Having said that, given I’m a woman – a cis-woman at that – and the vast majority of readers are also women, the content will be geared towards them, unapologetically. However, should any male readers want to set up newsletters, podcasts or Facebook groups, I will gladly shout about them for you as I do believe there is a gap for a supportive, inclusive community of single men who aren’t Andrew Tate fans. Do get in touch if you decide to do this or know anyone who has launched something I should promote.

Readers are also from all over the world, quite literally. This is amazing to me and you’re all very welcome here. I do try and include articles and podcasts that are relevant to all but sometimes it will be UK-centric because I live here. If you see things you think I should be shouting about in your country, please do reply to this newsletter and let me know of any great newsletters, podcasts, magazine/newspaper columns I might not know about (Disclaimer, I already know and love Shani Silver and Bella De Paulo so no need to tell me about them).

What to expect

Going forwards free subscribers can expect:

• A personal essay style newsletter or interview at least once a month.

• A shorter newsletter focused on recommendations and things I’ve seen and heard which have made me think. This will go out at least once a month.

• Occasional guest pieces from other writers.

• Access to the Facebook group to chat to other single people from all over the world.

Meanwhile, paying subscribers can expect:

• Regular agony aunt columns.

• Exclusive mini Q&As with either the high profile single people I interview or with guest writers.

• A monthly Zoom catch up with me and other paying subscribers. The next one is on 26th February!

• Access to the exclusive Whatsapp group which is a lot more intimate than the Facebook group.

• My new book club. Every six weeks I’ll choose a book for us to read. This will alternate between fiction and non-fiction. I will then launch a discussion thread for it and we’ll also discuss it during the Zoom chats.

• My eternal gratitude. I am a freelance writer who obviously only has one income so it’s difficult to dedicate time to this newsletter without your support. I also love to commission other writers when I can so that I can pass the mic and bring in a wealth of different and diverse voices. I can’t do this without the financial help you provide. Thank you so much!

Thought of the week

Inspired by this agony aunt column by Dolly Alderton (Dear Dolly: ‘I’m 32 and love being single, but I feel guilty’), I have been pondering guilt and why some single people feel it when they are OK or even loving being on their own. The writer of the problem told Dolly: “I’m 32 years old and, in a world full of married friends, I find I am happiest being single, but I feel guilty about it.” I can’t say guilt has ever come into it for me so was really interested to read this problem that someone wrote to Dolly about. I wish they’d expanded on what they meant by that. I guess for me sometimes I do feel it a bit when I think of my parents but not in general. Has anyone else felt guilty for enjoying being single? I would love to know. Email me!

Song of the week

Congrats to Lizzo who just won a grammy for this banger!

Laugh of the week

sidney_morss

A post shared by Sidney Morss (@sidney_morss)

Things you should check out

• The single penalty is real, and it’s costing me £860 a month – this is my article on the cost of being single for the i newspaper.

• I’m paying the price for being single – I also enjoyed this one on the same topic.

• ‘Some weeks I only speak to the postman’: how to escape learned loneliness – and soar socially – This is a solutions focused piece on tackling loneliness but I was really interested in the idea of ‘learned loneliness.’

• At the age of 34, I finally stopped caring about life milestones and found happiness - “I am not engaged, not married, and not pregnant, but I am a hell of a lot happier than when I was closer to hitting any of those milestones.”

• How Long Does It Really Take To Get Over Your Ex? – For anyone who is currently in this unhappy boat.

• I’m single, about to turn 40 – and fear I will self-destruct – For those who aren’t happy being single.

• What’s It Really Like To Go Online Sperm Shopping? So Glad You Asked – In Vogue this week.

• More women are choosing to have children alone, and using private sperm donors to do it – This trend will no doubt continue.

• Woman who spent life savings on IVF slams 'backward' changes to NHS fertility rules – Related to above… the cost is going to be prohibitive for many.

• ‘After months of involuntary celibacy, I have felt neither enlightened nor spiritually recharged’ – Love the honesty of this. I feel the same tbh!

• ‘The best sex of my life’ – my adventures on kink apps in my 40s – Two UK professionals in their mid-40s tell i about stepping out of their comfort zones and having no-strings sex on hook-up apps.

• A new start after 60: ‘I was such a chicken – until I spent seven weeks travelling alone’ – really inspired!

• Gillian Anderson is writing a book on women and sexuality, and she wants to hear your fantasies – Love her!

• Men, guard your friendships – heed the warning of the Banshees of Inisherin – “Male friendships are more like a kind of travel, he says, with the two of you side by side, eyes fixed on some shared destination. “When men lose that spot on the horizon, often that friendship will become less close,” he says, “because that is the juice in it.”

• A Friend Doesn’t Have To Be ‘Toxic’ To Be Bad For You – “Our friends should be 'our people' and, by and large, the people that we feel safest and comfortable with.”

• Why do my female friendships fizzle out? I might fade away from someone’s life if they made me feel inferior, says Philippa Perry. We don’t want to be fixed by friends – we want to be understood.

• What does it mean to be asexual? Here's everything you need to know – spoiler, it's not just low sex drive.

• 6 Ways Being Home Alone Can Be Psychologically Enriching – In case you need a reminder!

• The Rise of the Single Woke (and Young, Democratic) Female – Rise up!

About me

nicola_slawson

A post shared by Nicola Slawson (@nicola_slawson)

For those who don’t know, I’m Nicola Slawson, a freelance journalist, writer and public speaker who lives in Shropshire, UK. If you particularly liked this edition, you can buy me a coffee, here’s the link to my Ko-Fi page. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter.

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