Michael Lewis was excited.  

He had learned a really obscure word, chthonian, and now he had worked it into one of his pieces as a writer for the New Republic.

But when he submitted his article to editor Michael Kinsley, the feedback wasn’t quite what he anticipated.

“You f-----g phony,” Kinsley wrote. “What’d — you go into the thesaurus?”

Lewis has since penned best-selling books including “Moneyball,” “The Blind Side” and “The Undoing Project,” but he still looks back on his time with Kinsley as one of the most significant periods of his writing career. 

Why?

In Kinsley, Lewis found a truth teller, a mentor of sorts with a keen eye who was willing to tell him what was quality work and what just wasn’t up to the standard.

“It was the kind of feedback that everybody should get,” Lewis recently said on the Tim Ferriss Show. “But most people are too tender and sensitive to deliver.”

It’s an important lesson. When we give feedback and suggestions, we sometimes pull punches out of fear of coming off as too harsh or simply not wanting to ruffle any feathers.

But when we sugarcoat, we don’t point out what really needs to be improved, and then mistakes repeat and compound over time.

As leaders, we have a duty to recognize quality work and to give praise when it’s deserved.

But we also have an obligation to keep demanding and pushing when the standard isn’t met.

Confrontation may be a bit uncomfortable initially, but it’s usually what’s best for the group and what will help the individuals improve the most in the long term.

Being a tough critic doesn’t mean we have to be cold-hearted bullies incapable of ever giving out a compliment.

But when we take on an important position and are tasked with elevating a group and its individual members, we must also surrender instincts to be people-pleasers and to be popular with everyone.

Acknowledging what isn’t good enough may be uncomfortable in the short term.

But it’s often a critical catalyst for growth — and what’s best in the long run.

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