Good morning, friends.
When we meet someone for the first time, our brains make a thousand computations until we form a first impression. And it only takes several seconds.
In last week’s Superorganizers post, I said, “I think I’m fairly good with first impressions. When I meet somebody, I can pretty quickly understand what type of person they are based on the small cues that they give away.”
It’s relatively easy to spot micro-expressions (an eyebrow raise, a slight smile, a nose wrinkle) to determine a person’s emotional state. Eye contact gives you a sense of how intently they’re listening — looking away slowly and deliberately signifies thoughtfulness while abruptly darting away indicates nervousness. Their body language demonstrates their level of confidence — rounded shoulders and feet together is often a sign of insecurity while hands in the steeple position is a power move.
During my time as a reporter, I became overly confident that I could form an accurate opinion of a person solely based on a brief, first impression. The problem is that arrogance is a surefire way to get people wrong.
In the words of George Eliot, “A perfect traitor should have a face which vice can write no marks on — lips that will lie with a dimpled smile — eyes of such agate-like brightness and depth that no infamy can dull them — cheeks that will rise from a murder and not look haggard."
Malcolm Gladwell has called this the ‘assumption of transparency.’ “When I meet you for the first time, I observe your demeanor, and I draw conclusions about you,” he says. “My assumption is that the way you represent your emotions on your face and in your body language is consistent with the way you feel in your heart. Turns out that’s not always true.”
This phenomenon is also known as the fundamental attribution error, which is the tendency to overemphasize a person’s character and disposition while ignoring situational factors in judging their behavior.
As I’ve read and written more profiles of people, I’ve learned that I was missing this key element. Reading facial expressions and body language is only one part of the equation, but it doesn’t give you the full picture. The other vastly more important part is analyzing the context and having situational awareness.
The best profile writers are able to capture a person’s essence by decoding their character while simultaneously being cognisant of the situation. GQ’s Zach Baron recently wrote about the art of writing profiles in an age of social distancing.
Baron has interviewed people in all sorts of places — conference rooms, hotel restaurants, suites, and cars. It only takes a few minutes for a person to become a person, he says. It’s not necessarily about how they look or how they cross their arms. It’s about the things they do and how they move through the space they inhabit. And there is no movie or book that can surprise you like another person can, he says. Baron writes:
One time, I was in the middle of a long conversation with someone when they abruptly stood up and walked out of the room, only to return with a bow and a quiver of arrows strapped to their back ... The weird thing is, it doesn’t really matter what they’re doing, I’ve found. It’s just that they’re doing it. In motion, in the world, how you move through it, what you do and how you do it: that’s you.
First impressions are severely underrated — especially considering the fact that we only have one shot to get them right. We could be one first impression away from getting a dream job, charming a potential romantic partner, closing an important deal, or confusing the hell out of a reporter by strapping a bow and arrow to our back.
“[Profiles] taught me how to listen in a way that isn’t self-interested, and they’ve taught me how to relate to nearly anyone,” says prolific profile writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner. “The latter — being able to relate to nearly everyone and still being able to observe them — is a very, very hard thing to cultivate.”
In 2014, Brodesser-Akner went to profile Nicki Minaj, and Minaj … fell asleep mid-interview. “There was no point in making fun of her, so I tried to find empathy,” she says. So Brodesser-Akner asked herself: “What makes someone fall asleep while they’re being interviewed?”
She’s busy running her brand. She’s inspiring a meme that will keep us busy for months. She is tasting the Moscato and smelling the Nicki Minaj perfume that comes in miniature busts of Nicki Minaj. She is not here for your gender-studies symposium. It is not her job to tell you who the eff she is. And she’s exhausted. She is only made of carbon after all, just like you and me.
A great profile uncovers someone’s quirks, habits, and imperfections. So does a great first conversation. The next time you meet someone for the first time — whether in person or over Zoom — think about the fact that we get each other wrong all the time.
Before you make a snap judgement, make sure you ask questions, understand the context, and use the tool that helps form a more accurate impression about the person in front of you: empathy.
“I tend to think of [profile writing] as empathy in action: you try to get as close to the way another person sees the world as you possibly can, then relay it,” Baron writes. “And in doing so, maybe we all become a little less mysterious to each other.”
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THE PROFILE DOSSIER: On Wednesday, paying members received The Profile Dossier, a comprehensive deep-dive on a prominent individual. It featured Sara Blakely, the self-made billionaire behind the Spanx empire. Become a Profile member to read Malcolm’s feature, and receive all future dossiers here.
*A WORD FROM OUR PARTNER*: Business Casual is the business podcast by Morning Brew that aims to make you smarter while making you laugh. Host Kinsey Grant interviews the biggest names in business about everything from how technology is changing the fitness industry to the economics of influencer marketing. Check it out here.
PROFILES.
— The hero America deserves [**HIGHLY RECOMMEND**]
— The astronauts taking a historic spaceflight
— The celebrity-turned-resistance journalist
— The emperor striking back
— The football player’s war with darkness
— Paramore’s front woman going solo
— The science star who promoted a COVID-19 ‘cure’
— Silicon Valley’s favorite new app
— SpaceX’s secret weapon
👉 If you enjoy reading The Profile, feel free to share it with friends!
PEOPLE TO KNOW.
The hero America deserves: In the last few months, SpaceX CEO Elon Musk has vowed to sell almost all his possessions, named his newborn son X Æ A-12, described Tesla as being overvalued, recited the lyrics to The Star-Spangled Banner, and made sure that everyone knows “Facebook sucks.” And if all goes according to plan, on May 27, two American astronauts will strap into the nose of a Falcon 9 rocket built by SpaceX, marking the first time a privately built rocket and capsule will put humans into space. Here’s what the billionaire entrepreneur has been up to in 2020. (Bloomberg)
“America is still the land of opportunity more than any other place, for sure. There is definitely no other country where I could have done this—immigrant or not.”
The astronauts taking a historic spaceflight: NASA astronauts Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley are set to make history together when they board the SpaceX’s Crew Dragon on May 27th. They’ll be the first passengers that SpaceX has ever launched into space. Going to space is already full of uncertainties, but going to space in the time of COVID-19 adds a whole new layer of complexity. (The Verge)
“It’s been a long road to get here, and I don’t think either one of us would have predicted that when we were ready to go fly this mission that we would be dealing with this as well.”
The celebrity-turned-resistance journalist:Ronan Farrow is a rare celebrity-journalist who began as a talk show host and worked his way into investigative reporting. He has helped uncover allegations of sexual abuse against powerful men who preyed on young women. But his stories often omit the complicating facts and inconvenient details that may make them less dramatic. Is the cost of a more explosive story worth paying? Because there is a cost. (The New York Times)
“Are all the Ts crossed and the Is dotted? No.”
The emperor striking back: The coronavirus crisis has presented Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg with the opportunity to demonstrate that he has grown into his responsibilities as a leader. Zuckerberg is desperately trying to prove a thesis that he truly believes: That if one sees past its capacity for destruction, Facebook can be a force for good. “Up until now, I’ve been a peacetime leader,” Zuckerberg says. “That’s going to change.” (The New York Times)
“I have always believed that in times of economic downturn, the right thing to do is to keep investing in building the future.”
The football player’s war with darkness: Sammy Watkins, a wide receiver for the Kansas City Chiefs, wants to talk about darkness. He talks about the injuries, the addiction, and the depression that has loomed over his entire career. This bizarre profile takes you inside the mind of Watkins and how he’s fighting a “mental war” that few can understand. (Bleacher Report)
“Everything is mental. Nothing is physical. The mental is telling everything in the physical world to make it happen.”
The science star who promoted a COVID-19 ‘cure’: French microbiologist Didier Raoult prides himself in being a contrarian. “I tell young scientists: ‘You know, you don’t need a brain to agree. All you need is a spinal cord,’” he says. He’s gained international attention in recent days for promoting a combination of hydroxychloroquine, an antimalarial drug, and azithromycin, a common antibiotic, as a remedy for Covid-19. This is a fascinating story about the rise and fall of Raoult’s proposed coronavirus treatment. (The New York Times)
“There’s nothing I like more than blowing up a theory that’s been so nicely established.”
Paramore’s front woman going solo: Hayley Williams started the pop-punk group Paramore at age 15, and she grew into an icon for emo kids. As the band rose to meteoric fame, things were not as rosy behind the scenes. There was drama and lineup changes until it finally disintegrated. After undergoing therapy for her depression, Williams is back with the thing she swore she would never do: release a solo album. (New York Magazine)
“If we didn’t have all that stupid fucking drama for all those years, would people even know who we are anymore?”
COMPANIES TO WATCH.
Silicon Valley’s favorite new app: Clubhouse, which is a new invite-only social network, is gaining popularity among VCs, startup founders, tech reporters, and … MC Hammer. You can drop in to listen to people’s conversations, and ask to participate. It’s been described as a “podcast with audience participation.” People can join pop-up audio chat rooms that disappear when they end. Take a look at what’s going on in this buzzy corner of the internet. (The New York Times)
“You don’t want to leave Clubhouse because you feel like when you leave, something crazy is going to happen.”
THROWBACK.
SpaceX’s secret weapon: This 2018 profile features Gwynne Shotwell, the president of SpaceX, who is responsible for launching spaceships, selling rockets, and dealing with Elon Musk. She translates her boss’s far-out ideas into real businesses—whether it means selling customers on a rocket or telling them not to read too much into his tweets. She wants the public to look at SpaceX and think: “They do what they say they’re going to do. Even when it sounds completely insane at the beginning.” (Bloomberg)
“Elon says let’s go to Mars and she says, ‘OK, what do we need to actually get to Mars?’”
This installment of The Profile is free for everyone. If you would like to get full access to all of the recommendations, including today’s audio and video sections, sign up below.
AUDIO TO HEAR.
Tobi Lutke on staying disciplined in business: Shopify CEO Tobi Lutke has built Shopify into a behemoth powering so much of the internet’s digital commerce. In this conversation, Lutke discusses business focus, why video games can help you learn the power of attention, what design means for products and organizations, and how he uses mental models to stay disciplined. (Link available to paying subscribers.)
Naval Ravikant on how he achieved peace: Angel investor Naval Ravikant doesn’t do many podcasts anymore, but he made an exception for this one. In this conversation, he recounts his journey to achieving peace and happiness. “Suffering is great because when you suffer, you’re forced to see the truth for what it is,” he says. “You can no longer put it off.” It’s a good one. (Link available to paying subscribers.)
Barbara Corcoran on the future of the real estate market: Barbara Corcoran, star of ABC’s Shark Tank and real estate icon, says she expects the housing market to recover much faster than the commercial market. Here’s what Corcoran believes will happen as lockdowns begin to ease, why deals are still getting closed, and why virtual home tours will never replace in-person visits. (Link available to paying subscribers.)
Guy Raz on the beauty of failure: Guy Raz launched one of the most popular podcasts in existence, How I Built This (which is also about to become a book). He’s gotten into the heads of some of the most successful and interesting entrepreneurs by asking them probing questions about failure. “I am really, really interested in failure, because it’s how you respond to failure that gives us the tools to think about how we are going to respond to failure,” he says. (Link available to paying subscribers.)
VIDEOS TO WATCH.
Laurie Santos on rewiring your brain for happiness: Professor Laurie Santos created the most popular course in the 300-year history of Yale University and the most talked-about college course in America. It’s called PSYC 157: Psychology and the Good Life. In this talk, she goes over the things we can do to lead calmer and happier lives. (Link available to paying subscribers.)
David Goggins on gaining control of your life: David Goggins participated in the Badwater 135, which requires participants to run 135 miles in 24 hours in the peak heat of Death Valley. To qualify, he had to first run a 100-mile competition in San Diego, but he had never done a long-distance race before. Goggins urinated blood, nearly passed out, and endured stress fractures — but he finished the race. In this conversation, he discusses how to build mental toughness and get out of lazy, comfortable routines. (Link available to paying subscribers.)
Gwynne Shotwell’s passion to move humanity forward: Gwynne Shotwell was the seventh employee at SpaceX, and she worked her way up to president of the aerospace company. In this rare interview, she discusses SpaceX's race to put humans into orbit and explains how she managed to build a multi-billion dollar relationship with NASA even though SpaceX’s first three launches blew up. (Link available to paying subscribers.)
Gary Vaynerchuk on taking responsibility: Gary Vaynerchuk, the entrepreneur turned social media star, is a strong proponent of personal responsibility. “Take full ownership of everything, and then things get easy,” he says. “Because then you’re in control.” In entrepreneurship and life, Vaynerchuk says, there’s no point in blaming others for failures. He believes freedom begins the moment you start taking ownership of the good and the bad. (Link available to paying subscribers.)
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