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Murder-ish

“That CEO was a murderer too so his death was justified.”

"Murder" is the new inflation word. Fine, hate that CEO, but he wasn't actually a murderer. UnitedHealthcare isn't gunning down folks in the streets, y'know? I get it, systemic violence and all that so people want to prove a point, but still: There's a difference between denying health insurance claims and being an actual assassin.

But we have to inflate everything now. So Gaza is the same as the holocaust, insults are considered violence, and being neat is labelled as OCD. We amplify anything that lets us be the real victim because then we're justified doing anything we want.

And look, this isn't me defending UnitedHealthcare, it's me loving language and not wanting to dilute powerful words until they become meaningless. So let’s say Luigi is a murderer and that CEO was murder-ish, ok?

The reaction to Luigi

More about systems in a minute…but let’s talk more about Luigi! (See last week’s Rubesletter too, I can’t get enough.)

He killed a CEO because UnitedHealthcare is responsible for the deaths of too many Americans…and then he went to eat at McDonald’s. Incredible. It’s like knocking off Chris Brown to protest his treatment of women and then going to an R Kelly concert. 🥁

Luigi really sends the wrong message to the youth (i.e. that you can eat McDonald’s and still have abs). Btw I’ve long argued people with abs have misplaced priorities. Eat a cheeseburger, ya mad ab havers!

Everybody hates those soup can activists way more than a guy who murdered someone in cold blood which is really a helluva testament to the power of art.

Funny how social media is a bunch of people with self-diagnosed disorders insisting a cold blooded assassin is 100% completely sane. DIYP™️ (Do It Yourself Psychiatry) is all the rage! It makes sense though. People who sit behind keyboards love frontier justice because they ain't ever on an actual frontier. Violence via vigilante might be a fun concept when it’s just one CEO. But if this starts happening weekly, let’s see how people feel about it then.

Civilized society decided to use due process for a reason. (Me: “Due process is good.” The internet: “OK Boomer!”) Sorry, but I’m out on having random vigilantes being the ones who get to decide who does/doesn’t deserve to live. (The internet: "So you believe propaganda spoonfed to you by the oligarch-owned media." Me: “Jesus, I can’t.”)

It’s about the system, stupid

The truth is murdering individuals to solve systemic violence is like plucking one weed and thinking [look I don’t know sh*t about gardening so finish this analogy on your own].

Maybe like this: Getting mad at a CEO who is required to maximize profits for shareholders is like getting upset with your Roomba for running over your cat's tail. It is merely doing what it is programmed to do.

Don’t like the game? Change the rules. The real solution: Our elected representatives must regulate these industries (I won’t even go there on single payer blah blah). And that won't happen until we get massive donations from corporations and billionaires out of politics. Bernie’s been saying it forever...

Liz Warren has also been proposing solutions that don’t involve murdering CEOs. But hey, it's pretty funny when 🍊 calls her Pocahontas, innit? 🙄

I get tired of saying it, but it’s kinda the answer to everything: Follow. The. Money…

"Just vote for politicians who represent your views." That’s the thing. We can't. Health care companies spend more on lobbying than any other industry. The rage manifesting now is, in large part, about the gap between what people want and how little their bribed representatives – on both sides – listen.

It doesn't shock me that healthcare companies pay off our elected representatives. What shocks me is how cheaply they can be bought for (see below).

$25K? That's it? I just wanna tell these guys, "Jeez, man, you're a US Senator...KNOW YOUR WORTH, GIRL."

Our society is schizo. How else to explain the uproar over corporate greed and healthcare following an election where we chose to mainline crony capitalism into our societal veins?

Y’all think this cabinet of billionaires gonna protect the lil’ guy? My message to America: Pick a lane.

More

⛑️ Wait. You can write on bullets? And MAGA hasn't turned this into a merch idea yet? Genuinely shocked.

⛑️ Had a heckler at show on Saturday night and his name was Mario. Bothered the previous comic endlessly. So I got onstage and told him to shut up or I’d go Luigi on his a**. Killer riff about a killer, baby.

⛑️ An important media lesson was revealed through the reaction: Society has become FOX News vs. social media. Whatever one likes, the other hates.

⛑️ No relation, right?

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Quickies

🎯 I just want great power with mediocre responsibility. Is that so much to ask?

🎯 Cold plunges are pumpkin spice lattes for bros.

🎯 Kinda amazing how no late night show host has ever gone bald. What are the odds!?

🎯 I bet the worst part of being an alpha male is having to put all that gel in your hair.

🎯 If she says no, you quickly pivot from being a wholesome engagement photographer to a creepy peeping tom.

🎯 Every man secretly thinks he could be a comedian and every woman secretly thinks she could be an interior designer.

🎯 xenophobe - someone who hates foreigners
zenophobe - someone who loves attachment

🎯 People differ in how they like to give/receive love. There, I told ya the whole love language book in one sentence.

🎯 Amazing that Elon can figure out how to hug a rocket but not a human woman.

🎯 New Jersey gonna have to be like 🇮🇱 and set up an Iron Drone system.

🎯 Every drone story: "Guy Already Obsessed With Aliens Finds Excuse to Discuss Aliens More." 👽

🎯 Y'all keep putting a big heart emoji over your baby's face on social media and I just wanna tell ya: Don't sweat it. We get it. Your baby's super ugly. It's cool. We won't judge. Maybe it'll grow out of it, y'know?

🎯 Gotten really into Abraham Joshua Heschel lately. It’s been a whole rabbi hole.

🎯 The gift and curse of the artistic soul is empathy. What a luxury it must be to truly detest one's enemies instead of seeking to understand them.

🎯 "Play party" feels weird to me. Makes it sound too much like we're going to wind up in the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese when it's actually a completely different kinda...

🎯 Black Friday and coupon codes don’t make me feel like I’m getting a deal. They make me feel like I’m getting ripped off the rest of the time.

🎯 Gonna change my bio to “Public intellectual/private fool.”

🎯 "Can we do coffee so I can pick your brain?" No, you mental scavenger. My brain’s already been picked through plenty by social media, alcohol, and time. At this point, there's not much meat left on the bone.

🎯 It’s like a junk drawer, but instead of junk, it’s trauma…and instead of a drawer, it’s this compartment in my mind.

Comedy

🃏 Jokes: Get ‘em (and more) on my social media at Instagram – TikTok – Threads – X – Substack Notes – Bluesky

🃏 Tour: Upcoming shows in Seattle and Victoria (BC). Info here.

🃏 NYC weeklies: 1) GOOD EGGS (Mondays) at 7:30pm at NY Comedy Club (Upper West Side). 2) HOT SOUP (Tuesdays) at 10:30pm at Comedy Cellar. 3) GOOD EGGS (Wednesdays) at 8pm at NY Comedy Club (East Village).

🃏 FUNNY HOW: I have another newsletter all about the craft of doing standup. Check it out.

🃏 “Substance” Special: Watch my doc/special “Substance” at YouTube. Four nights, four shows, four states (high, drunk, 🍄, and sober).

🃏 My new standup special “Bolo” is available to stream now for only $4. Don’t wanna pay? It’ll be coming to YouTube/MattRuby on January 9, 2025 at 7pm EST (sign up to get notified here). Here’s the 🆕 trailer:

You made it to the end. Love that for you.

-Matt

P.S. Check out Working Methods for creative inspiration from art legends. It’s the perfect way to kickstart the creative process…

Working Methods Advice from legendary artists to kickstart your creative process. Curated by Matt Ruby. By Matt Ruby