We got the huge news that Big Friendship is a best-seller! This is exciting and joyful and satisfying. "Best-selling author" is a designation that will benefit me for the rest of my career (and Aminatou's too, of course), because people who work in media and publishing really care about such things. But I am mostly stuck on the fact that it is a community achievement. Friends and colleagues—many of you reading this newsletter—did so many favors to help us get here. People ordered multiple copies, had us on their podcasts, talked up the book to their friends, connected us with resources. I get to reap the benefits of this collective effort, so the least I can do is recognize it.

This give and take, of knowing how to receive help as well as offer it, is a deceptively tricky thing to learn. On today's episode of CYG, we talk to therapist Jordan Pickell, who notes that many of us have grown up with the idea that independence is the greatest marker of success: Can we live alone? Pay for things alone? Take care of ourselves? Write a book and make it popular on our own? But the healthiest adults are those who are interdependent, supporting the people they love and allowing themselves to be supported in return. 

Here's how the writer Mia Birdsong puts it: "The way I’ve come to understand it, freedom is both an individual and collective endeavor—a multilayered process, not a static state of being. Being free is, in part, achieved through being connected." Thank you for being connected with me.

A devastating letter from a doctor to their COVID patient. "The way to combat fear within ourselves is with its opposite emotion—which is not calmness, or even courage. It’s love." Good to know, because there's a federal government crackdown against U.S. citizens engaged in legal protest, and apparently a "double pandemic" is a possibility. How America failed civil rights icons John Lewis and CT Vivian. What people who live in mostly white towns need to know about history. What do we lose when paratha is called "flaky bread," or bibimbap a "rice bowl"? The hunger strike of Marquis Jaylen Brown’s mother. Judith Butler on performativity and Black Lives Matter. On the power of game-songs created by Black girls. The Black experience in graphic design. Ruth Bader Ginsburg reflects on her nine female classmates at law school. How did "flexible work" become a 24/7 trap? On being young and homeless during the pandemic. Violence against trans and gender-nonconforming people is spiking. How to listen to Judy Garland in 2020. Profiles of Trump parodist Sarah Cooper, sculptor Ruth Asawa, musician Sun Ra, and Ohio congressional candidate Desiree Tims. Why hand sanitizers suddenly smell so bad. The seismic hush that scientists are calling "anthropause."

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Nice White Parents, a podcast about building a better school system and what gets in the way. A crime against rice. How hobbyist running's white origins led to the dangers of 'running while Black.' How Japanese washi paper is made. Minju Song's Hugdrawings.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez addresses Rep. Ted Yoho, who called her a "f*cking b*itch" on the steps of the Capitol this week. Despite reporters witnessing the incident, Yoho claimed he never said it: "Having been married for 45 years with two daughters, I’m very cognizant of my language. The offensive name-calling words attributed to me by the press were never spoken to my colleague."

AOC responded: "What I believe is that having a daughter does not make a man decent. Having a wife does not make a decent man,” AOC said. “Treating people with dignity and respect makes a decent man, and when a decent man messes up, as we all are bound to do, he tries his best and does apologize. Not to save face, not to win a vote; he apologizes genuinely to repair and acknowledge the harm done so that we can all move on."

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Fight for Grace. Send an email and make a call in support of a 15 year-old who was jailed for not doing her homework. (Yes, you read that right.)

Join us as we discuss the book at virtual events with some incredible moderators:

July 27 - In conversation with Alicia Garza
July 29 - In conversation with Jia Tolentino
Aug 6 - In conversation with Glory Edim of Well Read Black Girl
Aug 10 - In partnership with Girls’ Night In

Time zones and ticketing procedures are different for each event, so click through for details.