TA #74: 🐶 Stories That Land in Your Lap; Marketing's Best Thanksgiving Recipe

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This week's image, #74: GIFER

Welcome to the 74th issue of Total Annarchy, a fortnightly newsletter by me, Ann Handley, with a focus on writing, content, marketing, life. THANK YOU for being here.

Boston, Sunday, November 22, 2020

Hello, Home Fry!

I have a new dog named August. We call him Augie.

Augie went outside early this morning, like he does every morning. When he had done his business (genius boy, Augie!), he didn't turn right around and run back to me like he does every morning.

Actually, he started to. But suddenly he stopped short and sniffed savagely at the ground, his brand-new spaniel senses firing on red alert.

I was standing 10 feet away, but I could feel the primal wolf stirring in this 9-pound pup—the wild animal that was about to go inside and be served a breakfast of organic chicken breast, carefully minced and trimmed of all its free-range fat.

Within seconds Augie had something between his teeth—was that a mole? Whatever it was... it was small enough to tuck inside a 9-pound puppy's mouth. (Oh God please let it already be dead.)

The tail of the thing (maybe a mouse?) dangled between his lips—he looked like a Hollywood bad boy with a cigarette. (I don't think moles have tails?)

He was supremely pleased with himself. I was thoroughly grossed out.

I've had dogs since I was 12. I know the worst thing to do in this situation is to scream and lunge at him to try to wrest any prize away—no matter how gross. That'll make any dog—even a baby one—clamp his jaw hard and run in the opposite direction.

So what did I do?

I screamed and lunged at him and he clamped his baby jaw hard and ran in the opposite direction.

I'm not proud of it. But keeping it real.

Whoa that dog can run! Augie took off like a tiny, furry quarterback—running the ball downfield, dodging and weaving in the wet grass. I trailed behind, sloshing in my slippers.

He's fast but I learned he's more of a sprinter than a marathoner. (Tucking that away for future reference.) Also, his legs are like four inches long. Within minutes I'd lapped him, caught him, and held him in the air (DROP IT! NO! DROP IT!) until finally... he dropped it. It tumbled out of his mouth and landed noiselessly on the lawn.

It was 7 AM. I was standing in the yard in 40 degree weather in soggy slippers, freezing and sweating at once, with an outraged, squirming puppy in my arms (UNHAND ME, WOMAN!).

I looked down at the tiny corpse where it had landed on the lawn in front of me. All I could manage was: "So it is a mole."

Well, was.

* * *

Writing can feel that way, can't it?

Sometimes the more you chase, the faster the ideas seem to gallop in the other direction.

Or they're all over the place, like an overstimulated spaniel working some invisible scribble of a gridiron chalked in your backyard by a deranged groundskeeper.

* * *

For a break from the news, last week I watched writer David Sedaris's MasterClass. I'm a Sedaris Superfan—which feels like it should be a Facebook group but isn't, I don't think?—so there's a lot I appreciated about his writing process.

But one thing stuck out for me from the almost four hours David and I spent together.

"I can't start an essay if I don't have an opening line," David said. That line might change, "but I can't get to the second sentence until I feel steady with the first," he said.

I recognized that immediately as true (that's why I wrote it down LOL). Not just because I can't start writing without a first line, either. But also because I realized that we writers also veer and swerve a little, trying to find a better way in even after we think we've committed.

From David: "I knock over here, and if that doesn't let me in... I go over there."

Just like when I sat down to write this letter to you. I had nothing.

It's not that nothing has been happening... I mean, it's 2020. It's just the opposite: Too much has been happening. I don't have to detail it all in this paragraph for you, because too much has been happening for you, too.

Maybe we're all a little like overstimulated baby spaniels this week. This season. This year.

But in this case, anyway, I didn't chase.

I was the one who stopped in my tracks.

It was the one who let something primal bubble up.

And, this time, the subject just came to me. And sat right in my lap.

* * *

Next time your inner spaniel is overstimulated, try this:

1. Focus on crafting your very best first line.
2. Write the next line.
3. Repeat #2.
4. Change the chalking on the gridiron when you feel it. You've got this.

* * *

QUICKIES

It's Thanksgiving week here in the US, so here's a duo of holiday-inspired marketing posts, followed by a deep-dive Q&A from last week.

➡️ This Simple Strategy Will Stuff Your Business So Full of Content That It Will Have to Wear Its Fat Pants Think of any content marketing asset as metaphorical turkey to be sliced and diced and julienned and fried and fricasseed.

➡️ One of the World's Most Enduring Content Marketing Programs Is Also a Thanksgiving Recipe What can we steal from it?

➡️ How to Create Ridiculously Good Content Last week I joined SharpSpring CMO Chip House for a deep-dive Q&A session about how you can create ridiculously good content. The conversation is geared toward agencies. But it applies to us all.

Related 👉👉👉: A Writer's Hierarchy of Needs: How to Do Your Best Work

UPCOMING

📺 At Home for the Holidays: A Fireside Chat with ActiveCampaign's Jason Miller + me
You hear "fireside chat," and you want actual fire, right? I got you; you can see it on the landing page at that link.

And while you're there, sign up... and grab the collection of holiday recipes. My recipe for "Christmas Cheese in a Puffy Jacket" is there, too, and writing it made every food blogger in the world mock my recipe-writer skillz. [Free]

📺 Marketing Strategy: Find Your Sustainable, Differential Advantage
This week MarketingProfs kicks off a brand-new Master Class with founder Allen Weiss. It's a quick two hours; but it's full to the brim with great, foundational info for anyone looking to build a brand that lasts. [Free for paid members]

DEPARTMENT OF SHENANIGANS

Many of my favorite marketing programs play on stereotypes taken to an absurd degree. A classic is this one I used to share on stage a decade ago, from Brock University in Ontario, which flipped a clichéd insult ("If you can walk and talk, you can go to Brock") on its head. (Still so good.)

Now we have the Morgantown (WV) Public Library leaning hard into the librarian stereotype of the book-loving cat-lady. The library has produced a new fundraising effort: a calendar with each month featuring a different librarian holding a cat. My favorite is Mr. December, Cadillac Frank.

I mean, "Frank" alone would've been funny. But the "Cadillac" takes it to a new level:

Check out the calendar. Proceeds directly support the library system and local animal-rescue groups. Win/win/win for Cadillac Frank. And us all.

LOVE LETTERS will return next time.

* * *

Thanks for reading this far. Thanks for your kindness and generosity.

Stay safe. Stay sane. Wear a mask.

I'll be back on December 6.

P.S. If you like this newsletter and want to support it, buy a book. Or forward this newsletter to a friend with an invitation to subscribe right here: www.annhandley.com/newsletter.

SELECT PUBLIC EVENTS

📅 November 30-December 2: Digital Sales and Marketing World [online]

📅 December 1: Hostel by RD Summit [online]

📅 December 3: Amplexor Virtual Knowledge Series

📅 December 9: At Home for the Holidays Fireside Chat with ActiveCampaign [BYOWeiners]

📅 January 7: Skucon
📅 Your Date Here: Book me to speak [limited dates available]

➡️ ➡️ ➡️ Not into this? No problem: Unsubscribe right here.

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Ann Handley is the author of Everybody Writes and other books.
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Ann Handley

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TA #74: 🐶 Stories That Land in Your Lap; Marketing's Best Thanksgiving Recipe

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TA #73: ⌛ Words as old as you are; Can virtual events actually be better than in-person events?

TA #72: 🐻 Copywriting Counsel from an Unbearable Campaign; Your 22-Point Content Checklist; Creativity as a Choice.

TA #71: 💪 Two Little-Known Tools to Help You Get Unstuck; Brand-New Content Benchmarks

TA #70: 💌 What I Learned About Writing from Dumpling School; 20 Questions to Stronger Content

TA #69: ☕ Pumpkin Spice Newsletter: A Case Study in the Power of Copywriting

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