Geeta Pandey - [#4] Consciously step back

When You Find Yourself Stuck In Negativity, Consciously Step Back

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If we give in to it, a negative emotion often starts a chain of many more negative emotions.

Displeasure leads to annoyance.

Annoyance leads to anger.

Anger leads to rage.

Observant ones know that this happens far more often than it seems.

Chances are you have seen people exploding with fury in no time on petty issues while shopping in supermarkets or driving to your office.

Once you are riding on negative emotions, there is no easy way out. Your energies driven by negative emotions act against you and generate more negativity.

"Thoughts are things," wrote Napoleon Hill in his classic Think and grow rich.

But how?

Thoughts create vibrations that can be scientifically measured, and these vibrations affect our bodies, minds, world, and lives.

Scientists accepts that a person's thoughts can directly affect their mental and physical health — that's how the placebo treatment works.

Interestingly, placebo also works negatively if the patient thinks negatively about the treatment.

Negative thoughts, when not disciplined, lead to negative emotions.

Negative emotions, when not managed, lead to negative actions.

Negative actions, when not controlled, lead to negative thoughts.

And the cycle repeats.

With the magnitude of negativity increasing every cycle.

I call it the vicious cycle of negativity.

Can you break this cycle?

Yes.

How?

By stopping as soon as you find yourself on this cycle. Earlier, the better.

When I first realized this fact, I thought it's too simplistic to work.

So I dug deeper.

We are blessed with the power to separate ourselves from our situations. We have the free choice to take a step back and see situations as a spectator. We do not have to identify ourselves with negative experiences that come our way.

Here is an everyday fun fact: people react differently in similar situations.

What does this mean?

There are many ways to react to a situation; by conscious efforts, you can save yourself from the cycle of negativity and choose a positive way to feel about it.

Sometimes, it is possible that even after conscious efforts, you get trapped in the cycle of negativity.

This is because of the ''bad habits of thoughts''.

You know bad habits that force self-sabotaging actions on you — compulsive lying, addiction to drugs, excessive junk food consumption, or swearing.

Such bad habits are formed over the years and are not easily controlled.

Similarly, bad habits of thoughts force us to think in a self-limiting and self-sabotaging manner in various situations.

There are four major bad habits of thoughts that wreak havoc on our thought process. But today, I will show you ways to win over them.

1. Self-blame

Self-blame eats you up.

Mistakes happen. You can not be right at all times.

Blaming yourself for the mistakes can be far more harmful than the mistakes themselves. It does more damage.

The guilt generated by self-blame kills our motivation and lowers our self-esteem.

Learn to forgive yourself.

Never be a prisoner of your past mistake; it was a lesson, not a life sentence.

"Self-esteem is the ability to see yourself as a flawed individual and still hold yourself in regard." - Esther Perel

2. Complaining

We don't live in a perfect world, and things don't always go as planned.

Sometimes, it's okay to feel troubled and irritated.

But if you make an issue out of every little discomfort and problem, then you have lost the remote control of your mental peace.

The more you complain, the more you attract issues to complain about. If you focus on what annoys you, then you are attracting more of what annoys you.

Just accept the reality as it is and move ahead.

You can not go back, change things, and have a different start.

But you can look at things differently, act differently, and have a better end.

3. Criticizing

Criticizing is closely related to complaining.

When you criticize others, you assume you are at no fault.

Something unlikely to be true most of the time.

It is just our opinion influenced by self-interest.

People indulge in unhealthy criticism in a variety of ways.

But most of the negative energy generated by this criticism gets directed inward and affects their happiness.

And the truth is, no one likes to be around those who constantly criticize others.

By continuously criticizing others, you become the subject of other people's criticism.

There is a two-fold noble path to win over the habit of criticizing:

Develop objectivity — get rid of biases that you might have developed over the years.
Build the muscle of tolerance — problems are usually not that big as our response to them makes them.

4. Comparing

One of the easiest ways to lower your self-esteem is to get into the business of comparison.

We look at the traits - physical features, possessions, or achievements of others and feel that they are more than us in talent, intelligence, energy, or luck.

Instead of feeling happy or inspired, we slip into jealousy and a sense of worthlessness.

We lose sight of our gifts.

Imagine two kids, one of them being unhappy simply because his toy is of a different color than the other's toy.

Instead of setting higher goals around our priorities, we keep resenting others and cursing ourselves.

Remember, just being born as a human has given us great choices and gifts as we have the choice to think and design our life in our own unique way.

Stop comparing; you need to be yourself and feel inspired.

Get rid of all these four bad habits; it's a waste of precious human energy and a direct path to failure in health, relationships, career, and reputation.

Identify and release these negative thought patterns.

The way we think is the way we act.

The way we act is the way we become.

Choose great habits and great influences and live a life of blessing and pride.

The art of thought selection

Before I end today's chapter, I want to leave you with a powerful practice that you can start using from today.

Train of thoughts does not stop; whether you are awake or asleep, you keep generating thoughts.

Uncontrolled thoughts are of two kinds — they either run in the past or the future.

You either replay a bad memory of the past or daydream about the future, again and again.

With each thought, you burn your energy and your time.

You could use that same energy in developing new life-transforming ideas and feeling joyful at present.

Let me share with you a powerful technique to tame your runaway thoughts.

Its called the art of thought selection.

Next time when you find yourself surrounded by random negative thoughts, take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and select a thought from your memory that can bring out the best feelings in yourself at that moment.

If you are feeling defeated, think about your moments of triumph.

And,

If you are feeling lonely, think about those who love you unconditionally.

You will immediately break the cycle of negativity.

Practice this art of thought selection.

Like physical exercise makes the body attractive, the art of thought selection, when practiced, will make you in control of your thoughts.

So that's the fourth part of this course.
I will share the mysterious ways of leveraging fear tomorrow.

- Geeta

If you'd like to share this list with someone else, send them to an email course on the science of affirmations.

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Geeta Pandey - [#4] Consciously step back

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