Sofie Hagen - I'm too famous for this.

I'm going to keep the rambling to a minimum today - mostly because my feet and legs are already asleep from sitting on this cold hallway floor. Hank is my dog - he is beautiful and ten months old and if you're into knowing more, I currently have three highlights on Instagram covering the entire story about how I got him and why and all of that. He is pacing back and forth next to me. We are sitting in the hallway because we're trying this thing where I show him that the hallway is a safe place to be, despite all the sounds from the outside world and the neighbours' front door.

 

He then goes to bed. So I'm just an adult (now 32 years old!) sitting on the floor of my filthy flat, for no reason, writing a newsletter, which I have given a cheeky name in order to trick people into reading it. Hi. I'm being cheeky. No one is too famous to sit on their hallway floor for their dog. Also, it's 2020, no one is famous. Fame doesn't exist anymore. Time doesn't exist. 

 

My dog is a traitor, by the way. A little right winger. Yesterday, the police came to my house. I didn't call them. It's a long story - I'm fine, everyone's fine. I can't say more than that. But suddenly the police was here. Two cops. One of which didn't wear his mask properly. Are you kidding me, Officer? What about all of that 'serve and protect' stuff? Maybe that's just something from a movie.

 

Hank isn't used to strangers and he usually growls and barks at them. But for some reason, he fcking loved the police. Sniffed and licked them, like a little Republican. ACAB, Hank, for crying out loud. ACAB. Defund the police, don't lick them.

 

I'm obviously very disappointed in him. We will need to work on this.

 

I now can't feel my bottom and my lower back is starting to hurt - so happy to now be 32 years old, folks. Feels great. My body is 90. My dog will outlive me and as I die, he will look at me and say, 'Obesity kills' and laugh.

 

I will announce the two BIG THINGS that I am doing NOW and SOON!

 

Care Packages Are Back!

 

I have got 40 care packages left! You get my book, signed, my show, a signed photo of me, a signed photo of my dog (signed by me, the prick can't hold a pen), a sticker pack with seven stickers - and you can choose to have the book giftwrapped AND to include a personal handwritten note, if you want! Maybe a Christmas present for someone? Or just for yourself?

 

Because of Covid, I am spending Christmas alone in the UK. I sure as hell will be buying myself presents. For one, I will be buying a rug for this hallway because it's cold and also it doesn't seem to work - he is still barking.

 

So treat yourself or someone you love. Once I run out of these 40, I doubt I will get more. I have to buy my own books, by the way, I don't just get them for free. Unfortunately. I mean, maybe I could print out the PDF but there's probably something in my contract about that. Anyways. If you've wanted a care package, now's the time. I just sold one more. 39 left.

 

 

  

 

 

 I never feel like I know how to be a proper adult. There are just so many things I don't know. I started my podcast in 2016 just so I could ask other adults, 'How do you do it?'

It's safe to say I've done my research. And I've got stories for you.

 

You're going to want to watch this show if you've ever wondered how to find the right therapist, how to deal with shame, how to give presents and much more. It's a show full of warmth and life hacks. With celebrity cameos, giving their best life hacks!

 

This will be genuinely USEFUL. Have a notebook ready!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've named you the Dorks. Because knowing what I know about people who are into what I do, you're all dorks. This is obviously a term of endearment. I am also a dork. Head Dork.

 

The idea of the Patreon is this: You like what I do. You want to support me, financially, because 1) you can 2) Covid has royally f*cked my industry and the government sure isn't doing anything to help 3) you appreciate that I put out a lot of free content - I do this because I love to do it and I always try to find a good balance between paid and free content. I love podcasts for this very reason - you can listen to over 300 hours of free stuff and that's okay. Or you can pay for it, however much you can. However much you want. It feels fair. Those of you who have the income support - so that those who do not can still enjoy free stuff. That's sort of socialism, in a way, sort of? Ish?

 

I will add to the Patreon when I can - so far there are lots of saved Instagram Live Cooking shows that will be up indefinitely, there's a tour of my flat, a video from Mark Watson that I forced him to do, an option to get a signed photo sent to you, discounts for my live shows and much more.

I want to do ASMR videos, read you goodnight stories, give you special discounts and give you early access to stuff. Sometimes I will get things #gifted that I don't want and I might send it to you. Or, some months I might not post at all, because of busy'ness or mental health stuff. You support the Patreon because you want to. Not because you're expecting things, necessarily. It's meant to be fun and every little extra thing is just a fun bonus.

 

It's a monthly payment. As little as £5 a month to join. But I think you can set a limit that's even lower, when you do sign up. So if you've ever gotten anything out of my work, if you've ever appreciated my existence and if £5 won't make a dent in your finances, I highly suggest you join my magnificent fan club.

 

(At the same time, if you're broke - because capitalism is a b i t c h and this government is letting us all down - please don't feel guilty. This is meant to just be a nice, fun thing. I'll keep doing what I have always done, for free.)

 

 

.....

 

 

My September show 'Let's Talk About Therapy' is now up for pre-order. It will be out very soon - my lovely helper is just putting the final touches on the subtitles. It's £5 (but you can, as always, pay whatever you want above that) and it's a whoooole two hour show...!

It's everything I know about trauma, CPTSD, OCD, anxiety... Finding therapists and finding the right therapist and all of that. Lots of stories of weird mental health experiences I've had. It was a lot of fun to do. I really, really like it. You can pre-order it here and stream it the second the goes out:

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I released a new show for download and stream!

 

It's called 'But What About Health?' - it's a 90 minute 'funny chat' - 'comedy talk' - talkedy? - about fatness and health. It's full of stories and jokes and most importantly, SCIENCE, to back it all up. Is it unhealthy being fat? I will answer this question. Nuanced and accessible. Funnily. I'm really, really proud of it. I had so much fun researching it and performing it. I really hope you'll buy it and watch it. And if you like it: tell your friends.

 

But first - buy it here for just £5 - and you can, as always, pay more, if you're rich or if you think it's worth it. It has subtitles and it's there in both low res and high res. You can stream it or download it. I'm really, really excited about it.

 

 

 

My podcast Made of Human Podcast is finally being transcribed! In the beginning, we are just transcribing the new episodes, but with time (and money), I will start having the old episodes transcribed too. On the website, you can find all the ones that are already transcribed. I feel like I'm saying the word 'transcribed' too much now, it's losing all its meaning.

 

- Jameela Jamil: I don't need to tell you who this is.

- Payzee Mahmoud: She was a 'child bride' and an amazing person

- Pixie Turner: You know her from Instagram - a fat positive nutritionist!

- Emily Gorcenski: an actual nazi-hunter.

- J./ComfyFat: Super-fat nonbinary activist. And a Scorpio. Dangerous mix.

- Dr. Julia Shaw: Criminal Psychologist.

- Jamie Windust: Nonbinary writer and campaigner.

 

Go listen here!